30 Hilarious ‘Clients from Hell’ Quotes

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Having a bad day at work? We have gathered some of our favorite client quotes from ClientsFromHell.net – a collection of anonymously contributed client horror stories from web developers.  This list is guaranteed to make you smile:

1. “The website you made is infected with a virus! Every time I go to check my mail after visiting the site, I get all kinds of porn! I tried going to hotmale.com on my daughter’s computer too and the problem persisted.

2. “You should know me well enough to ignore me when I tell you to do something that I won’t like.

3. “Did I hire you to be bound by what’s possible?

4. “Staring at computer screens gives me nosebleeds. Please fax the website to me.

5. “Please, no acronyms when you email me. Whatever http stands for, write it out. HTML, write it out, .com, write it out. Capeesh?

6. “It looks like over time the submit button has begun to fade out a bit. Is it possible to upload a fresh button? I want all the buttons on my site to look new all the time.

7. “We want the design to be intentionally confusing to show how complicated the concept is.

8. “Please erase all other google search results showing our competitors websites immediately. If you cannot do this, we’ll be forced to take legal action against you.”

9. “You mean every time you do work for us, you charge us?

10. “I want something like Facebook. And don’t try to rip me off, I know that Facebook is free.

11. “Last night I dreamed that the site was made out of roast pork and corn juice. I know it sounds strange, but I really like the essence of the idea. Can you do something with that, with the essence of the idea?

12. “I don’t know quite what we’ll be selling yet. Maybe niches. I’ve heard the niche market is doing really well.

13. “The only problem we have with the website is, when my friend loads it on his iPhone, it’s not as big as the computer.

14. “If for some reason you do not receive this email, please let me know.

15. “See if we can get the domain name ‘foogle.com’, that way we get all the people who misspell google. If that’s taken, try tahoo, gacebook or qwitter

16. “Whoa, whoa. Why are you building the site on a Mac? I told you, everyone here in the office is on a Dell. They’re going to want to see the site too.

17. “I want it to be transparent, but I don’t want the background to show through.

18. “Can we have some spare blank pages on the web site? Just so that we can fill it up later when we feel the need.

19. “I’ve replaced the logo you designed for our website with clipart from google. So, take that charge off the invoice please.

20. “You see, I don’t know what I like, I just know what I don’t like.

21. “I made the mistake of letting my wife see the logo. She doesn’t like it, and since it’s easier to pay you to redo it than it is to get a divorce, I’ll need another invoice for the revisions.

22. “We would like it if every web page on our new site had an option to download as a PowerPoint, so users can read the page on their computer.”

23. “I don’t mean to brag, but I am quite good at coding the internet.

24. “I can’t pay you very much but I can give you a lot of work.

25. “That’s the wrong shade of black.

26. “Please email me back the file. I sent you the only copy I have.

27. “I want a website that pops-up on peoples GPS systems when they drive by my store. Let’s take a range of 5km.

28. “I hate it when you do exactly what I tell you to do.

29. “The site is broken. When I’m on the home page and I click the back button, it takes me to another site.

30. “We really don’t like web as a medium. Can you please force our sites visitors to print out a copy of every page? We want our page to be more tangible.